幽默英文三则

      1、The last chance
  The God decided to create “woman”,and he should take a rib from Adam.

  He gave Adam some sleeping-pills smilely,said:”Adam,enjoy the sleepy,this is the last chance that U could enjoy a peacefully sleep without any noise.”


  1.最后的机会

  上帝决定创造”女人”,但他须要从亚当那得到一支肋骨.

  他给了亚当一些安眠药,微笑地对他说:”亚当,尽情享受睡眠吧, 这是你最后一次可以享受这种安静,没有噪音的睡觉机会了.

  2、In the Eden,Adam told the God:”I’m lonely,I need a company.”

  “Ok,”said the God,”I will give U a perfect woman,beautiful smart and gentle.She will cook clean and do everything for U,without any complaint and question.”

  “Sounds good,”Adam said,”But,to make such a good lady,WHAT is the cost?”

  “One arm and One leg.”

  “OH,expensive!”after thought for a while,Adam asked:”How about just one RIB?”

  2.在天堂里,亚当对上帝说:”我太寂寞了,我须要一个人陪我.”

  “好的”,上帝答到.”我将要给你一个完美的女人,美丽,聪明而且温柔,她将毫无怨言地为你烧饭,为你做一切事情.”

  “那太好了.” 亚当说道.”但是,要做出这么一个完美的女士,我须要付出什么呢?”

  “一只手和一条腿.”

  “噢,那代价太大了!”想了一会,亚当接着问:” 一根肋骨怎么样?”

  3、The brave heart

  A millionaire called on all the bachelors in the city to his home , and take them to a big pool that lived some crocodiles

  ”I want to find a brave heart,let me see who dare to jump into this pool and swim to the other side--------he will be my son-in-low,get all my fortune and my beautiful daughter.”

  Sex! But……Every man looked at each other,with a pale and red face.None dare.

  Suddenly, with a “PUTON”,a bachelor jumped into the water,God! He swam towards the other side with a crazy speed!And,with the very lighting speed,he touched the side,and climbed on without even awaking the crocodiles!

  The millionaire go ahead and hold his hand:Congratulations !What a brave heart!I suppose U wanna my daughter so much!

  “Not at all!”the guy cried,”I just wanna know who son of a bitch pushed me into the poor just now!!”

  3.勇士

  有一个百万富翁召集了城里所有的单身汉去他家里,并且带着他们来到一个全是鳄鱼的池子边.

  “我希望能找到一个勇士,我想看看谁敢跳下这个池子并且游到对面------他将会成为我的女婿,得到我所有的财产和我美丽的女儿.

  女人! 但是…..每个人都无力的, 脸红红的,你看着我,我看着你,没一个人敢跳下去.

  突然,”扑嗵”一声,天哪! 有个单身汉跳了下去,他以惊人的速度使劲地向对面游去.就像光速一样,他到达了对岸,并爬上岸,还没有惊醒沉睡着的鳄鱼.

  这个富翁走上前去握住他的手: “恭喜你! 勇士,我想你一定非常喜欢我女儿.”

  “一点也不,”小伙子答到.”我只想知道,刚才是哪个龟儿子把我推下池子的.”

  4 .

  A software engineer bought his son a basketball, and his son asked, “Where is the manual?”

  软件工程师给儿子买了一个篮球,儿子问,“使用手册在哪儿?”

  注:儿子受了老爸很大的影响。

  5 .

  Elevator operator: This is the fifth floor, son.

  Child: How dare you call me son. We’re not related.

  Elevator operator: Humph! I brought you up didn’t I?

  电梯操作员:孩子,这是第五层.

  小孩:你凭什么叫我孩子,我们俩又没关系。

  电梯操作员:我把你带上来的(我把你养大的),是不是?



[本日志由 Cheney 于 2010-02-27 10:08 AM 编辑]
文章来自: 英语美文
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