外国人是如何理解中国的礼仪

Chinese courtesies have always been formal to follow strict rules, although sometimes Chinese people seem to be impolite according to Western norms in public places. To well understand Chinese, some concepts should not be ignored:

尽管在西式标准的公共场合下,中国人有时似乎显得不够礼貌。但中国式的礼貌,却有它自己的严格规则。要更好的了解中国,下面的这些概念你就不该忽视:

Mianzi (Face) 面子

The idea of shame, usually expressed as "face" could be loosely defined as the "status" or "self-respect" in Chinese and by no means alien to foreigners. It is the worst thing for a Chinese to lose face. Never insult, embarrass, shame, yell at or otherwise demean a person. Since all these actions would risk putting a Chinese in a situation that he might lose face. Neither try to prove someone wrong nor shout at him in public. In order to get a successful effect without letting a Chinese lose face, any criticism should be delivered privately, discreetly and tactfully, or else, just opposite to what you wish.

Guanxi (Relationships between People) 关系

Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people. It is very important for the Chinese to have good relationships. They often regard good social relations as a symbol of personal ability and influence. Someone who has no connections would be despised and is only half-Chinese.

Keqi not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty. It is impolite to be arrogant and brag about oneself or one's inner circle. The e­xpression is most often used in the negative, as in buyao keqi, meaning "you shouldn't be so kind and polite to me," or "you're welcome."

Besides, Chinese seldom express what they think directly and they prefer a roundabout way. Neither show their emotions and feelings in public. They rarely greet people with a handshake, though it is very popular among foreigners, say nothing of embracing or kissing when greeting or saying good-bye. Consequently, it is better not to behave too carefree in public, even though you are well-intentioned. Also, it is advisable to be fairly cautious in political discussions. Do not particularly push yourself forward, or else you are unwelcome.

To sum up, do in Rome as Rome does, but you need not worry about these cultural barriers since most Chinese are hospitable and amiable and will not mind your nonproficiency.

面子

羞耻这个概念,通常被表达为“面子”。在中文中大致的含义是“地位”或者“自尊”,这和外国人的观念并不相同。在中国,最糟糕的事莫过于失了面子。所以,千万不要对一个人进行侮辱、羞辱或者对其大吼,让其尴尬等。因为这样会让一个中国人感觉到失了面子。千万不要证明某人错了,或者在公共场合对其吼叫。为了能有效的传达意见而不让中国人丢了面子,任何的批评都应该私下传递,而且方式要巧妙而谨慎。否则,你将事与愿违。

关系

纵贯中国的历史,一个维系社会的基本粘合剂就是关系这个概念,也就是人与人之间的关联。对中国人来说,有良好的关系是十分重要的。他们往往将拥有良好的社会关系看成是一个人能力和影响力的象征。一个毫无关系的人将会被轻视,而且最多只能算半个中国人。

客气

客气并不只是包含考虑周详、礼貌文雅和举止端详,还表现在谦逊和谨慎。对自己或者自己的圈内人表达的傲慢或者自夸都是不礼貌的。表达的时候,通常要以否定的形式,比如“不要客气”,意思是说“你不必对我这么关心、礼貌”或“不用谢”。

此外,中国人很少直接表达自己的想法,而喜欢用侧敲旁击的方式。从不在公共场合表现自己的情绪或者感觉。尽管在西方握手的见面礼非常普遍,但在中国这样做的人还不是很多,更不用说见面和道别时的拥抱和亲吻了。因此,即使你是出于好意,在公共场合也不要表现的太自由自在。同样,在政治话题上保持相对慎重也是明智的。不要太特立独行,否则你将会是不受欢迎的。

总之,入乡随俗,但你也不必对这些文化障碍担心,因为大多数中国人都是好客和和蔼的,他们不会介意你的不熟悉。


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